Probably one of the hardest questions I ask coaching clients is: how are you? Most of us struggle with this one in an intimate context.

In polite society in Britain, this question is simply a greeting. If you are meeting someone for the first time or in a large group, your honest answer is not required. Loosely translated in this context ‘how are you?’ simply means ‘Hello.’ And as we all know, the socially acceptable knee-jerk response is: ‘fine’.

When I went to Australia for the first time, I was slightly flummoxed by the frequently asked question: ‘How is it going?’ Same thing. A greeting. Honest answer not required.

However, what I know for sure is, if we want to act with integrity, purpose and confidence, we need to be able to answer that question for ourselves and act on the information wisely.

Our feelings are ours alone. So often we blame others for the way we are feeling or hold others hostage to how we feel. But instead of weaponizing our feelings, what if we saw them as clues? Clues that are likely to lead us one step closer to a better version of ourselves.