Over the past few weeks, there’s been one universal theme in almost every coaching session: overwhelm. It’s not surprising for this time of year but let’s be clear about what’s really happening.

When our brain feels overwhelmed, it’s rarely the volume of our to-dos. It’s the ratio:

How many challenges have we actively chosen…versus how many are simply coming at us?

In medical terms, these are called active challenges and passive challenges.

Active challenges are the things that matter to us – the things we consciously choose: training for a marathon, learning the guitar, writing a book, creating something meaningful.

Passive challenges are the things life throws at us: a sick child, a flooded dishwasher, the tax return, the endless admin of being an adult.

When overwhelm takes hold, it’s usually because the passive challenges have piled up so high that we are dropping doing all the things we care about. From my 21yrs of coaching experience, this research is a reality for so many of us.

And here’s the counterintuitive part, the way out of overwhelm is not doing less. It’s choosing more. Not more tasks, more agency. One small, chosen action that reminds our nervous system: “I’m not at the mercy of everything.”

I’ve been practising this for years.

When I’m at my desk with a stress headache, I go and meditate – even if I only have five minutes before the next call or before the kids burst in from school.

When my to-do list looks impossible, the first thing I schedule is a workout. Not because it’s logical, but because it anchors me.

It’s counterintuitive but the research is clear: choosing something that matters to us reduces the psychological weight of everything else.

So if you’re feeling overwhelmed today, choose one small thing that matters to you. Something active. Something deliberate.

It doesn’t fix the whole picture. But it puts you back in it.

Carpe Diem.